12022014

Today after listened to the sermon by Joel osteen- pray God-sized prayer. I know that God's talk to me and I reply the calling from God. I know I'm not an ordinary person that God has made. I'm extraordinary person that God made me with an purpose that I could be history maker and I could fully used by God and for his purpose. 

I want to pray, I want pray God-sized prayer that I could see miracle and extraordinary thing happened in my life. 

First of all I want to pray for healing for me and my uncle Danny. 

Second, I want to pray for my dreams. 

Third, I want to pray for a right man in my life. 

Fourth, I want to asked more from God as what he has promised to me. I want ask more and receive more. 

I want to strengthen my faith in God and do what he could do that what's people think was impossible. Amen. 

Luke 1:36

For nothing is impossible with God." 

My first Post in 2014

New year... New Hope... My dream, My hope, and my everything is in your Hand, My Lord.
Whatever dream, wishes that I had in 2013 was over, new things replacing it. I wish I won't fall back to the past and no longer stay still at year 2013.

Previously I had a good practice in writing my blog everyday, but recently I found my life was filled up with so much the activities that took place of my blog writing time. Maybe I had given up something I had missed in 2013. Someone I missed no longer appear in my memory? Congratulation to myself, I'm get through the sad period I had been wishing it.

Maybe now my mind was clearly set up for my coming dreams. 

1. I wish to pass my degree program with flying color. Thanks God - I had done it through Jesus who giving me wisdom and strength to make it happened. All As..... Claps....Praise Lord...

2. I wish to earn more money so that I can leave Malaysia soon. Although I'm not that rich still, but I had set up my mind that I could be leaving soon after my contract or I had done my degree program, neither. - For this I need to be pray..pray and pray....

3. I wish to have a small coffee/wine/beer house in future as I'm a coffee lover, wine lover as well as beer lover. The purpose of this house should be base on sharing and counseling to those who in needs in psychology. - I had a counseling basic certificate only that not enough for me to build this kind of house that could serve the people with kinds of needs. I need to be improve and strong in spiritually as I need to influence the people around me, but not get influence by people. 



4. I wish to get married if I could meet a right man that God's had chosen for me. That's I should pray hard so that I can have wisdom in choosing and loving this man that's I had chosen and be a good model for the young people around me. 


Recently I had quite upset with a church sister. Although I'm really disagree that she had finally getting divorce with her husband, but somehow I had accepted the things had happened and I had try my very best to stop it. I really feel disappointed to her, but I can't really give any comment as I'm still single and she will think that I'm not understand her situation and whatever I said was just a nonsense, there was no persuasiveness as I'm not having a good real experience and I can't be a good model for now. I really wish that my love story could be a testimony to glory God's name and be a good role model for the new generation. "no sex before marriage", "love one another with the love from God", "Pray for each other and let Jesus be the center in my new created family". 
Many of my friends asking that is that I'm getting high expectation on my right man? I'm wondering that... Actually I just want a man that could fills with God's loves and could love and take care of me. That's simple, and also was hard as it was subjective as how I could know that a mans was filling with God's love? I know that God will gives me the wisdom I need for getting a right man. 
I keeps mention about the right man but not a perfect / good man as there is no perfect or good man exist in this world, but right man was the one who can love you with who you are, accepted you as what you are, be with you with any circumcision that you faced and forgive you with any mistake that you had made. He is the right one. For now I'm training to be the right one for who I loved as well. God please lead me, :)


2014 is a good starting point........ to be a better women for Jesus. Fighting....^^

16122013

First blog of the months

There been a long time I didn't have times to writ my blog. 

I really miss the moment I could spend sometimes to think and reflect what I'm doing.

Actually I'm not that busy as what my friend think of. I still have times for catching up the Hong Kong movie I like - on call 36 (2) and my盛lady. With the time spending in the movie and sleeping, I found my life wasted as much as possible. Recently thinking of what my pastor faced and I did pray for him. I found that I'm lost touch with God for sometimes. I had missed some of my time for nothing instead of praying and caring. 

God, I want to back to life that in worship, reading God's word and love the people around me. 

Today, I rest my mind with some song by putting on my mp3 while I'm resting at the sofa. I'm napping with my mind on with ongoing new praise and worship song from hill song. One of the song impressed me was "back to life". When I listen to this song, I awake totally and get up to search for the lyric. The lyrics was as below 

Today actually I'm not planning to go for the special pastor kong hee service at chc Penang. Don't know why the cg leader - peter suddenly fb message me that tonight am I joining the service. I told myself that I'm not going to join the service as I'm embarrassing after the service that I brought too many of them visiting the church without informing their pastor. 

But tonight, I'm totally back to life and back to God once again. I enjoy the praise and worship, I enjoy the words time and the best was I'm enjoying the presence of God. 

I got take notes of the sermon. It was as below

I'm pointed, I'm anointed and I'm at the top of the mountain. God, thanks for not forsaken me when every time I'm nearly getting far from you. 

God, I know what's anointing for. I'm not going to waste my life for nothing. Anointing was given for an assignment. God, I know the assignment has been given, although previously I'm not clear the instruction that given for the assignment. But as the Holy Spirit was my facilitator that I could always connected with and ask for leading and wisdom to carry out the assignment that given by my coordinator (God-father). God, I'm now back to life again and I think I will work harder to be anointed for your purpose and shine in this worlds. Praise Lord. 

24112013

Today was the first time of my life get up so early for my assignment. 2am in the morning waked up by my two alarms set on the day before as I'm really scare that I couldn't finish my assignment on time. 

Washed my face, get a cold drink to wake me up totally for ASSIGNMENT!!! 

I'm regret that why I can't get to do it before that. I never want to have this again in my life. First and also last time in my life, I begged. This sleepy feeling was killing me. 

Around 4am something my mother awake and saw I'm awake for my homework, she get shocked as well but she really a good mother. She knew I'm hungry and she make a cup go milo for me and take some breads for me as well. I'm touched. 

I told myself, I should be more hardworking as for a return for my parent. God, Please bless me with your wisdom and strength. Thanks.

Finally, I still can't finish my assignment before I need to prepare to go church. As today I'm serving as keyboardist, I can't afford to be late once again as I had promised God and myself as well. 

After reach church I'm still worried about my clinical log. Thanks God, praise and worship practice end quite early, I'm continue with my assignment with using Angeline's PC at church. Five minutes before I stop doing it and have my breakfast. My mom served me with two half boiled egg. So warm, I love my parent so much. 

I told myself after this assignment, at night I want to accompany my mom for shopping and sent my dad for dinner as well. I want to accompany them as much as possible. Feel sorry to them as I'm not spending much time to accompany them on Sunday. 

After praise and worship, I continue my assignment while bro. Alan was preaching. I know that's was not right to do it, but I'm rushing for that. I'm sorry to him and my God. 

Although that was not right, but God still help me to make my assignment finished on time. Praise Lord. After service, I'm helping my cell group in washing the cups as this Sunday was my cell group serving due. 

After that, I'm lost, all of them busy and rushing for lunch as they got Christmas presentation practice and I got do nothing for Christmas. Haiz. Once again I feel I'm lost. 

While waiting my parent, I'm sitting at the office and starring on the monitors of Angeline's PC. 

I snapped this picture. 

I'm damn damn bored. Lazy to start on another assignment as I'm physically tired but mentally I'm empty. 

The first thing I did while reached home, eat than sleep. 

Ever ing, after ready myself I sent my dad for dinner at Penang and I accompany my mom for shopping. Actually my mom wish I can buy a shoe for working to protect my leg. 

Before shopping, we should get our dinner first. Since now was November, I get the sushi king member on the spot and dine in with my mom.

That's long time I'm not step in sushi king with my family. I miss my sister as well. ;)

Today I had spend RM 359 for my shoe. My mom wish to buy me this, but I insist to buy it myself. She knew I'm quite tight for this months, but i don't want my parents to buy me anything as I'm working adult, I'm not suppose to burden them and I suppose to feed them as return right? God, my another aim was earn as much as possible to buy them some thing that they need. 

22112013

Today actually I want to visit my friend's mother at general hospital. 

Quite pity her with what she has faced recently. But with the busy working hours has drags till the end of the visiting hours. She refuse to have dinner with us as she scare that we will treat her for dinner once again. Haiz... Actually I just want to give her a hug as a friend. 

I'm damn hungry actually, but my two other friends may wish to have some light dinner. 

So end up we have our light dinner at "Gloria Jeans coffee". Actually quite expansive place, I really wish to escape from that, but two of them was my BFF, since they we ware paying together, so I'm embarrassed to have the money back. God, please bless me.

They were not having spaghetti, I'm the one having dinner there. They just have drinks and pie only. Actually I'm quite tired, and I'm worried about my clinical log as the day after I could not have time to complete it. I want to go home. 

By the time I reached home, I'm exhausted. Can't even finished reading a sentence my eyes close itself. God, please give me time and wisdom to finish that.

21112013

Today is the day that my mum and I was off. Last night my BFF Wendy Tan came my house for assignment, but end up we had our quiz done, but we could not finish our clinical log on time. Was late midnight near 1am. We end the discussion as previously we had spent much time in chit chatting regarding the happening during working hours. 

Thanks God that blessed me with such BFF that could share my happiness and sadness together. Thanks God. 

Early morning, I'm damn lazy to wake for breakfast, but last night I had told my parent to accompany them for "yam cha"~ ing. I had promised, how badly I miss my bed I still could not lay on "him" again.

 

I like this picture so much. ... ;)

11112013

Early in the morning I still awake for the movie on call 36 I, to reflect back regarding the relationship among the actor and the storyline before the second series. Omg. It break my promise for myself regarding I would like to sleep early as I need to have a normal healthy life for God. God, I have violate it again. Forgive me.

Well, today I'm waking up as my cousin Jwei SMS date me for lunch. Hmm... Honestly I'm very lazy for doing anything for today. But, my dad definitely will ask me for lunch as well, so I better wake up and get ready for it. 

Finally we had our lunch at Butterworth chai leng park. The famous chicken rice would be our lunch for today. After lunch, my dad was going to Raja Uda for some reason. We went to the cafe that I planned last night LP MTB station. There would be a nice place to enjoy coffee like Starbucks. 

The concept of the cafe was nice and special. This mostly would be a good place for coffee and cycling lover to gather and chatting. 

Honestly I love this place and the concept. About the coffee, I like the drawing, design on the coffee, I love the coffee maker machine, but I dislike the coffee taste. Is too sweet for me as I'm not even put a sugar in my coffee (cappuccino). 

Hot Cappuccino. RM 7.90 

Hot hazenut RM 7.90 as well. 

Maybe I'm not hazenut lover, I don't think is smell good to me. :)

Concept of cycling and all the decoration is about love pedaling and their event. Feel good and special for this cafe. This is what I think to look for in my future. 

The picture all behind me.... Wow... Although I don't know them, but is a special place for us to know about them and their passion on cycling. 

Finally I reach home, there would be 15mins before 5pm. Oh my goodness, I had not start on my assignment for the day. By the way, I'm planning for hiking with jogging at Bukit D.O. that's recommended by Nicole. 

My cousin know the place and we get there around 5 something. There are such a nice place for the elders to gather as well. Many uncle and Aunty get there exercising and chit chatting. They are friendly. I love this feeling. I love them as well. I will get back here very often, maybe one day I could know them and bring them to Christ? Who's know? :) 

When I plan to go my car to take my hand phone to get some picture there, the weather turns bad. Thanks God, it started to rain while we get in my car. Praise Lord. He knew me well and planned for me before I pray for. Wow....

Can see the cloud? Just like three mountain and there are a bridge... 

Looks nice.... I love the creation of God very much. ;)

13112013

I think I had addicted to this movie so much. From revising the previous series of this movie, I had learn and impressed me such a way that I could really love my patient more and more. 

While I'm lying on my bed, thinking something that happened while working, I miss my patient. Eventhough just now I'm attending the prayer meeting at church, I think of one of my patient while I take care him in a critical period. Reflect back what I had done, what I had been doing in this few years, I'm just nothing if without purpose. I love them, so I care of them. Now my aim all around was I wanna go for working holiday, but when I pray for the people in Philippine, I sudden think of my parents. How could I let them worry about me while I'm in out station. I know that my dad definitely will miss me if I'm in out station. In another hand, I wish I could have go for my dream as well. What and how should I pray for? 

I really hope my life can back to healthy and normal as usual people. But with my weird working time and hours, I think just like the doctors in this movie, I'm oncall anytime. This early morning I get a call from hospital, I thought they just called me once, but while I checked on my phone in the evening, they had call me three times. I think urgently I need to call back and like what I guess they was asking me to back to work on this day. 

Honestly I hate unplanned thing happen in my life, but life is full of surprise and I can't predict what can be happened next. Just like what I face everyday in my working life, I need to accept a child has diagnose brain tumour, a child died in front of me, a child collapse.... Many thing else. 

I always think that how could I react if one day my parent or family died in front of me? Can I mange to handle it? I'm not scare of dying actually, I know where I going to go while I'm dead, but if for my family and parents, I think I will miss them. I know I could meet them one day I back to my Heavenly Father, just that I can't mange the feeling of losing someone I love most. 

God, I know you loved me. Every time I sing praise that I love you as you has love me before, I will get touch and tears. I know how much blessing you have done in my life. My parents was the greatest gift that you blessed me. They really love me so much. They served can care of me like an angel around me. Sometimes I really think that their love is more than enough for me, so how about my Heavenly Father? He even sacrificed more, right? 

Haiz... What I can do for now? What I suppose to do? Can anyone tell me? I always think of what I'm doing right now is not good enough. I can do better than this. I can love my parent and my God more and more. God, please help me to do so and I will always love you and worship you with all my life. Thanks God. 

09112013

After vision camp I had busy for whole week non-stop. For my assignment, my work, my patient... Omg.... 

Really thanks God for everything that he planned for me. Although the things happen for us seem was bad, but finally I get to learn to obey and I earned experience. Praise Lord, really appreciate his planning in my life. 

I got dream, I got passion, I got love... I have everything that I need.... As I'm living with the presence of God's purpose in my life, I got hope. 

Recently I really have mosquito very badly. My leg was the worse part of my body. Itchy+++ 

Besides, the worse thing is my patient. He diagnoses as dengue hemorrhagic fever. Pity boy... Need suffer a lot. I suffered with him as well as every hour I need to disturb him and his condition was very bad when I been called in to work purposely for him. Omg... But God, I know because of it, I gain more experience to nurse a dengue patient. The doctor was so kind enough to teach me how to manage, that's the time I really appreciate the planning on me when seem everything looks bad. My boss was appreciate that I'm taking this challenge to care for him and sacrifice my sleeping time for him as well. 

Thanks God for everything. Praise Lord.... Tomorrow thanks God again that I could focus on praise and worshipping as a member. Waiting.. Excited +++

04112013 post vision camp syndrome

In this camp, I learned two song. Name -让我

I don't know why while singing this song, my heart keep beating... I can't really sing much, my tears keep dropping and knowing that I'm filled with Holy Spirit and I want to move forward because of him. 

祢用重價救贖我，使我脫離罪惡河
叫我這不配的人，憑信得救
你賜聖靈幫助我，使我勝過老舊我
祈求恩主領我，邁向屬靈高峰

讓我讚美非僅美詞，讓我敬拜非僅方式
讓我服事非靠雙手，而禱告非僅用口
讓我愛人不要虛假，讓我待人由心而發
讓我學習順服，以聖潔為裝飾

I think the most thing I learned is to obey and serve with my heart. Don't know since when my heart has been cooling down in serving God. I know that I'm the person may step backward anytime when I'm not keep moving on. One of the criteria I asked God for a man that who may move forward with me in faith, serving, and my life should not move backward as I'm along with him. 

While keep singing this song, I know that I have nothing to worry about. God's grace is sufficient for me, I should be trying my best to work hard for what I can for his kingdom. Amen. 

My job would be, pray hard, serve, love, care and learn to obey and do whatever I can to be more like Jesus. I'm a follower of Jesus, I should crazy for him alone.