06022013

Today happen is the 1st time when I graduate a child dead in front of me. Quite sad and helpless that moment. That time, I'm panic, I need to call for doctor and call code. Ask for help and finally the child also dead in peace. Announce expired at 0150hrs.
1st in my life I need to enter the dead big book. Omg... I can't accept that. God, what's your plan? I think you should be thinking to reduce the suffer for that child. That's one of the relief for her too.
I slowly learn to be cheerful after that incident...
God, I'm know what's my limitations. I want to be better. My boss want me to present that case, I don't know how was it, but I try my best to do the best for her and for the goodness of another patient too. God, please help me.
Thanks God, today Jillian mummy back here to give us the Chinese orange. I feel great when I heard the news from her that Jillian was fine after operation. Praise the Lord. My mood back again. All of my colleague know I'm in grieving mood after that incident. After u meet Jillian's mother, I feel great. Thanks God. She been saved with my prayer. Thanks God.

05022013

Today thanks God, my car get a free service from the proton service centre. I thought my car having the problem sure need to spend a no. Of $$ to settle it. But thanks God and my dad, I get it for free and with this problem, I could know my car having leakage of the oil tank and it just spend me RM6 for fixing that. Praise the Lord.
Today, I read the verse
Deuteronomy 6: 5 You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.
Love God love people, this happen in my mind all the time. I should folllow what's God want me to do. Should obey God's command all the time. Amen. God, please give me strength.

03022013

Today when awake feel damn tired. Last night after listen to the song, I cry out and kneel down and pray God save this child and her family.
I don't know what to do with this. I just know I need to pray.
Today pastor Andrew share about waiting for God's time.
With faith, hope and love we been waiting. Not doing nothing.
When he share about Love, he said he saw a pic In fb that love God, Love people, do something. We can't just waiting without doing anything. We need to take action.
Just like holy spirit talking with me, is time for me to do something for God. I tell God, I hardly share gospel to the unbeliever. When bible study about Romans after service. God take this opportunity to teach me again.
Pastor share about how to seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness. God kingdom mean, what's God authorise. And God's righteousness mean gospel.
Matthew6:33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
If we give our life to let him fully lead us and share his gospel, God will bless us with all our needs.
What's gospel about? That's mean jesus's life, he born, dead and reborn. That's gospel. We been saved by faith that God has given to us and if we receive it, we will get this salvation.
That's simple. From now, that's one of the role and challenges for me to do this. God please strengthen me.
Actually, today I just know some of my brother and sister go for movie during the period of bible study. At 1st I'm wondering why I not even know that and invited, is it some problem between that? But after a second, a verse pop out, that's Romans 8: 28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
If they invited, I maybe didn't heard about this sharing, I miss the chance to let holy spirit talking with me. That's comfort me, and I know my life is not to please the other, is to please God, he is my lover, and I do this is because of love.
Just very sure that God once again asked me to love. Love someone start from your family. He keep repeating this verse. I know God talk to me again and again. I can't ignore it anymore. I try my best, God please help me.

02022013 what the best choice?

Today I face the doubt. I got a patient that's newly diagnose brain tumour, when doctor explain that to her parent, I can feel how's the sad feeling from them. Is hard to make the decision.
To do the operation or not, is not a simple decision. Is life concerning choice. If without the operation, the surviving rate is miracle. If with the operation, that's high risk they need to bear the concequences of the risk of operation. What's the choice.
When I drive home, I ask God what should I do... Beside praying, I got no idea. But after the working adult gathering, the sharing just like God talking with me. My doubt is been solved. I should not be doubt, must trust God with all my heart. I should ask God what I can do, I should take the 1st step to share gospel to their parent.
Today the working adult gathering just like answering my question. Totally touch my heart. Holy spirit keep talking with me. Is not coincident. Is God's plan, God want this sharing to inspires me. I should take the move. I shouldn't doubt.
I learn something today, I feel God's present even in a small little gathering. Thanks God.