11102013

Today actually I can have much time to rest... But don't know why, I insomnia once again... What happened to me? 

While driving to work... While singing praise and worship song, I think about the movie "good doctor". I really got back the passion. I'm asking myself, where is the stage that God has planned to me, I got the answer ready. I can be better, I should not always thinking of myself. Sometimes I do know that what I'm working hard for is not what God wants me to be. I should have know the purpose of God giving me this new life. Just for him... "Just be myself". 

Sometimes I'm thinking that which dress is suitable for me? Which style I suppose to be? I finally get the answer, "be who I mean for" 

Omg... Times flies... I need to back to my position soon, I hope I can be knowing what I'm trying hard for... God, give me wisdom that I should be having. Thanks God.

10102013

Early morning I can't even rest more than 7 Hours. An alarm from my mind been set as I'm telling myself I should be awake at 10am and before that I should spend sometimes for my beloved God. 

After singing praise and worship, I'm reading the words of god regarding the king Solomon that he consist the wisdom from God and the prosperity that given from God. He is a smart and rich king ever as mention in the bible. But the lesson I learned from him is to stay away from the thing that God hate the most. He married a wife that is Gentiles. His wife has bring the problem and influence the people to serve other God. God is the only God in this world, we shouldn't serve other God beside him. 

What can makes us really stand firm in our faith? 

As a Christian, should be a good worshiper, prayer, be obedience and be purity;

As a children, should be honor our parents;

As a worker, should be respect and obey your superior;

As a student, should be study hard... I should be... I suppose be.... God, please help to transform be to a better one. Thank you Lord.

Today after lunch, I found a nice view at the sky...

Wow... Really wish to have a trip to the sky....

I believe I can fly....

It make me desperate to go for my dream.... My dream is at the other corner of the other country....  Where is it? ? ?

Finally going to play badminton with them again. Omg... Just like getting drunk ... I'm really speechless...

Oh... Forget about taking wine with my dad... 

When reached home, my dad was prepared to go bed, I really miss my wine and beers...

Who can accompany me to get all this? Beer~ing alone again... 

I still remember that bro shin loon told me that we will not be a couple as he hate girl taking beers and get drunk like me. XD good... I should get someone who can accompany me to get drunk together and have fun... Omg... I'm drunk now.... 

A friend sent me a link regarding love...

 “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless — it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.”

Haiz... I also don't know what I can be? I just know for this moment... I'm protecting my heart... Just like been locked in a box with a key. God, the key is on you, if someone can get the key from you, it should be able to open my heart. That's it...

I hope I can gt drunk for this moment... Who can with me? Omg....

09102013

I really don't know why I could sleep such a long hours....

When awake it has been nearly 1pm... Omg... My assignment, my movie... Many thing waiting me to be done. Although this week I got plenty off day, but my pending stuff still can't be clear off. What happen to me? Omg. 

Last night when I going to gym, I reflect back the time I have been to the gym at gold master. The only motivation for me to go for gym is because of him.... His courage, his criticize...both positive and negative manner has been motivated me. 

I think I could miss the motivation for a long time. It just my past history... In my personal history, he existed. For now, no longer... I should move forward, thinking about to have some other motivation from others to continue my healthy life. For the while, I love gym, but I do not have enough time for me to spend on this. 

While watching this movie "被偷走的五年” I really feel sweet and lovely. if I could have someone real in my life I could spend with and I hope I can really really love him and sacrifice... Hmm... Can I make it? That's still a curious question in my hearts. XD 

Before I left home while going to the prayer meeting, I introduce this movie to my mom. She watch it and saying thumbs up for this movie. Wow... So great.

Today is the first day I back to the prayer meeting when I start on my degree studies... Although my written assignment still haven't finished, but I think I should be having enough time to finish it up on time. Praise Lord. 

In the prayer meeting, there is another preacher. He is our bro. Jing Ming. He share about the works of the Holy Spirit. The power of the Holy Spirit we shouldn't ignore or reject as it's a need in the spiritual growth in Christianity. 

This is the first prayer meeting that the Holy Spirit fill me with joy and in the moment I just wish to sing praise and worship my God. That's simple. He also mention that many of the Christian do come across a period that their spiritual life was upside down. But the only thing we can back to a healthy spiritual life is we pray, we worship and we ask the presence of the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with love, joy, peace and give us strength to overcome this situation. 

God, I thankful for everything that I have. As what I need, you had planned and prepareded for me. 

07102013

Last night whole night watching the movie "good doctor". Such a good movie that I can't even hold my tears until I should pause the movie and do some adjustment. The verse, the story line was impressed me. 

Although this movie was also having some scene that is involve the love story, but the love story scene also was my favorite part on it and I'm reflecting on what I have done. 

Sometimes I do feel that I was not as passion compare to the first six months I as a nursing aids. My patient = my friend??? One of my dream was a good and helpful nurse, but I have lost my passion to do so. Is that due to my busy working hours? My knowledge has changed my thinking? God, I found that I have lost... I'm not passion that I should be. I can be better for what I believe. 

In this movie, I think I really admire the main character, the doctor with infantile autism. He don't have the common sense, but he have a good and loving hearts that can treat all people equally good and love them as what God ask to do so. 

When I looking at the Facebook comment in the secret group, I really feel sad when I know one of my particular colleague has been boycott by the others. What can I do? I can sense the hurts feeling when I know that someone is boycotting me and I relate it to the movie of the autism doctor. He know that everyone is boycott him and he still treating them very well. Even in the end, some of them has change the perception because he can forgive and still love the other even he know that they dislike him as he is not smart enough and always bring trouble to them. 

I really thanks God that I'm not the stupid autism doctor as the movie, but I do hope I can learn from him as well that I could have more kind heart to love the people around me. 

I know what's my problem... I'm not keep my dream and try my very best to love. I'm very easily to give up and influence by the others. What I'm doing? Earning the favor of God? Or the people? 

I should know what's my very great purpose of God sending me here in this world.

I should praising God, worhispping him, pray for the others, love the others, share the love of God to the people who still don't have the chance to know about Jesus. So What's this days I'm doing? Keep hanging around without doing what's my "boss" asking me to do? My boss, what's the next task I should be complete? 

I'm really lost........... 

Another sad thing is the one I intro her about Jesus and pray with her has leaving God and pray to another God. Those day she need support, where am I? God, what I suppose to do? Many question mark in me.... I know you will slowly answer my question. Thanks God.