Today suddenly I tearing when I try to sleep at the karaoke room. When listening to the song... Sad song... I keep tearing... Don't know what happen to me. Something spiritually was wrong in me. When I pray, my tears keep dropping. I scare that my friend found I'm tearing may frighten them as well, so I better leave. After I had change the dinner dress, I walk in a coffee shop. Ordered a favored coffee and half boiled eggs.
My friend keep asking what happened to me, I told them I'm okay as I also don't know how to tell them what's wrong with me, I just need times to pray and meditate alone.
Recently busy taking care of my uncle, saw his pain, his discomfort... I'm depressed as well. I'm keep asking God's healing and confess his promise upon us. I know God would not forsaken him, he will strengthen him with the words and we should believe God and keep believing.
Last night I plan to have sometimes with God, but end up I found its late as the next day I need to wake early to prepare myself to travel to Alor Setar. I'm driving, early in the morning I'm rushing as I though I'm late as I had misunderstand the wedding time and keep rushing...
I hate this feeling most.
Now my physically has worn out. I hope I can rest, but end up I'm tearing non stop... What am I doing? God, please give me strength that I need to go through this as you usually did it to me.
When I'm sitting at the coffee shop, I read a devotion from my iPhone apps. It stated "「你要察看神的作为，因神使为曲的，谁能变为直呢？」（圣经传道书七章 13 节）
神似乎常把祂的儿女放在极困难的处境中，使他们无法逃避，也无法解决。也许你正在这样的处境中。
似乎你的遭遇是顶烦恼、顶严重，你也不懂得为什么神要如此待你，但是神的处理决没有错误。不久你就会看见祂的美意。你所处的地位是一个戏台，你正在戏台上表演神的荣耀、恩典和权能。
祂不只要施行拯救；祂也要藉此使你学习一个不能遗忘的功课，叫你在事情经过之后， 还能常常唱出新的赞美，发出足够的感谢来。" this devotion just like answering me something that I'm asking God.
