02072011

Today I help my colleague to do OT for her..
Actually damn tired,but happy because my working partner is.really good..we work together, laugh together...and help each other..thing really done well and smooth.
I can off duty on time, go church youth on time...nothings special.just "he" make me disappointed again..
I wish him to help in printing out my favour song, but ur doesn't and din reply my sms after afternoon...
In angel, I didn't talk with him much...he also same,just came n pass the chair for me after service.I feel bad..is ok..I.must use to.it as I'm not "somebody" to him..
When sharing today, I do miss my colleague friends..miss the life there...thanks god I had my best friend there. Do really miss.them...

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30062011

Today is 1st time I meet Joseph at qb...I not going alone to meet him, is with my roommate, stephy Ho. She is with me as I plan to buy a earing to awards myself as I do so.much OT for earning purpose.~sigh~
When I reach joseph's working place- universal travel, he cames out I gave him the late birthday cards and chat with me few minutes as I plan to have my dinner with stephy at "xian ding Wei" restaurant.

Before that I called "him" to ask where's the place, "he"told me is just upper or lower the BR...OMG..is wrong direction...fortunately I asked Joseph again.hahahaha...
"He" keep sms me through out the night...he quite concern the relationship in between me and Joseph.Haiz...but he still won't admit he got slightly "more concern" bout me...Haiz...
How I gonna proof to "him"? My sense was wrong? Or "he" is confusing me...either way...
When I reach home, Joseph chat with me through MSN, asking why I back home without meet him again, as I told him before if he keep asking me the ques can I be his girls, I won't be able to meet and ans him again. He told me he will give more time for us...OMG...is killing me again...

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sorry cards....

This is the card that I give to Joseph as I leave him aeroplane on his birthday....

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1st day of July

Today like usual I'm not working so I sleep till late evening then awake for my Lunch with breakfast....From morning I start chatting with "him" through what's app and till sms and then what's app again... quite comfortable chatting with him. He can share with me what he is doing and thinking. That's what I prefer to chat with him so much. "He" is honest guy and too honest sometimes make me sad man...Recently "he" keep asking me and Joseph things. Keep joking with me that Joseph is my bf...somethings like that. I really feel uncomfortable and I know that "he" wanna know how I think of Joseph. That what I'm happy for but another hand this remind me that Joseph he is not my bf, I'm not going to let "him" to call Joseph as my bf...
Today through msn, Joseph asked me that is it I understand what he mean last night that he say he trying to give me times. I say is it giving us more space. He said : is giving me more times to consider him as my boy friend. OMG... till this moment he still want the ans. he say I told him before I need another month, he can give me...OMG.... is killing me again... I just ignore again. changing topic. ~ I ask him is he free on the 28 august till 31 august? He say mostly he will be free, is it I'm going to any places with him. I told him our church have a youth camp, hope he can join. He say he will apply leave. From bottom of my heart I hope he can join and in that camp he can really understand what I mean and what mean is "LOVE". Is not easy to get use to each other lifestyle and love each other. Hope he wont that innocent in that way.
Yeah~ first time my sat is not been planned yet... When my sis back from work, I'm asking her to plan somethings else. She call me to ask yu jue go penang having "great" lunch together...YEAH~~~~
Suddenly, my colleague Pris calling me that she feel not well, if possible she want me replace her OT... OMG... then I try ask her to find someone again, If really none that I help her....but got a great feeling that I have to help her, anyways...I call her back and ask her don't worry, I replace her any ways.... Finally tomorrow I'm working....~sigh...
when "He" know this news, he quite happy and say that he rather me work, if not I also waste my time sleeping and do nothing... OMG.... make me feel bad....damn it...~~~

29062011

Today is the one he say he likes me birthday.finally I leave an aeroplane again on him again..so bad...but I try to compensate with calling n telling him I will try meet him tomorrow.
He sound sad as I called him say i cant celebrate with him, he asking me what I had been promised him before...it sound I'm really bad.
Beside, "he" sms on morning telling me he is having branch at who's bryan cafe...OMG...but make me happy is he seem care that where and when Joseph want date me...
Keep asking why I looks happy,is it cause I'm going to date with Joseph... Haha.. funny...
But another hand he make me slight angry is he sound like don't want to wait me go for movie~transformer. From bottom of my heart, I really hope he can wait me and watch with me,but I think he won't that considerable to wait me...I'm just his sister...no one else...
I'm not important enough to.make him wait for me...so bad.... Too bad...and sad...

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"Hate That I Love You"
(feat. Ne-Yo)

[Rihanna:]
That's how much I love you
That's how much I need you
And I can't stand you
Must everything you do make me wanna smile
Can I not like you for awhile? (No....)

[Ne-Yo:]
But you won't let me
You upset me girl
And then you kiss my lips
All of a sudden I forget (that I was upset)
Can't remember what you did

[Rihanna:]
But I hate it...
You know exactly what to do
So that I can't stay mad at you
For too long that's wrong

[Ne-Yo:]
But I hate it...
You know exactly how to touch
So that I don't want to fuss.. and fight no more
Said I despise that I adore you

[Rihanna:]
And I hate how much I love you boy (yeah...)
I can't stand how much I need you (I need you...)
And I hate how much I love you boy (oh whoa..)
But I just can't let you go
And I hate that I love you so (oh..)

[Ne-Yo:]
You completely know the power that you have
The only one makes me laugh

[Rihanna:]
Said it's not fair
How you take advantage of the fact
That I... love you beyond the reason why
And it just ain't right

[Ne-Yo:]
And I hate how much I love you girl
I can't stand how much I need you (yeah..)
And I hate how much I love you girl
But I just can't let you go
But I hate that I love you so

[Both:]
One of these days maybe your magic won't affect me
And your kiss won't make me weak
But no one in this world knows me the way you know me
So you'll probably always have a spell on me...

[Ne-Yo:]
Yeah... Oh...

[Rihanna:]
That's how much I love you (as much as I need you)
That's how much I need you (oh..)
That's how much I love you (oh..)
As much as I need you

[Rihanna:]
And I hate that I love you so
And I hate how much I love you boy
I can't stand how much I need you (can't stand how much I need you)
And I hate how much I love you boy
But I just can't let you go (but I just can't let you go no..)
And I hate that I love you so

And I hate that I love you so.. so...~~~


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


This song I love so so much...It's talks bout all my feeling right now.
especially rinanna phrase:
"But I hate it...
You know exactly what to do
So that I can't stay mad at you
For too long that's wrong"

Keep repeating the song today, found that I really Love the song...as well as the "one" Really hate how much I love "him" boy....hate how much I need "him"
1st time forget to call back my dad as busy sent a msg to "him" to listen this song as I like and hope he can sing with me "one day". But hope this will be my future "wedding" day ^^
haiz....
another hand, the one he said he likes me, just reply my message on fb. Not sincere enough to date me right? As I plan to cancel the celebration with him, and as pastor Andrew sent me the song I willing to attend Prayer meeting and help in playing keyboard. I hint him much, hope he can understand and don't be angry.

27062011

Today is my off day. Spend my whole day, nope... is half day, because lazy worm crawling on me...I slept till 12 noon. Having snack that sis's brought and ribena drink that is my favorite.
"He" message me from what's app , I reply him. Since morning we chat until night. He very concern me, haiz...It make me feel warm but started can't control my "likes" on him. Asking when I go dinner with the one likes me? where? how I know the one likes me... kinda question. I feel warm actually, but he still doesn't admit he concern me. OMG...
This morning I received a sms from the one he say he likes me ~Joseph. He asking me where should we meet on wed (his birthday) After thinking for a moment, I reply "E gate there isit ok?" but he haven't reply me...Anyways, Hope he won't angry on me...
Today I chat with christine too..
share with her somethings about relationship. She having same thinking as mine. Wish to have a good relationship start on best friends.... It honestly as my wish too. Me and Joseph if start on is really too fast, I admit I wish to have a partner that really care me like him, but is it last forever I din have any confidence about that. That's why I wish to have a relationship start on step by step...wish he can really understand me.
So bad, Headache is following me recently. Had planned to go gym, dressed up nicely, but when walking to downstair before open the door, headache again. OMG... I have the sickness keep following me....Shit...my slimming plan was delaying....was keep delaying....as"he" said I'm lazy that's why will have kinda things happen before I going to make it. OMG....sound bad.
nevermind, I continued my movie.....1 episode following by another one....non-stop man.... eddicted...





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