25012013

Today quite free in the morning, I'm wondering whether I can be back early or not. ^^
Anyways, the team is good, my works done smoothly. Praise the Lord.
Today whole day I'm discussing about whether to buy i-phone 5, i-pad or laptop in this starting brand new year.
Because my dad's phone, I hope if I change the phone, my dad will get a better phone to use. But, this morning, my dad sudden told me that his phone is still functional. He hopes I won't waste money for that. That's good, then I could miss my HTC so much.
Due to the empty time in the ward, my boss discuss about my further studies thing with me, my bff Wei Ee and a senior now she is taking the degree in IMU with semester two. She shared with us how stress she face when taking the degree. But of course, due to she has married and had few kids, she need to spend more time in taking care of her kids. I'm not the same, I'm single and still have time to spend for my studies. I should go for it. I think I won't regret that as long as I had make the decision. I should responsible to make it success no matter how, I know God is with me.
 

24012013

Last night actually I started to worry about the event today. Worry about how the people asking me regarding why it's happen I need to be separately with him. If someone ask me this question, I really hard to answer that. 

This morning, while driving, I started to refresh back again. Tears from my eyes. That's the 1st sad feeling on 2013. I hope it won't happen again to me. I thought that I had use to this feeling. But, I still care for. I really care it no matter how long the incidence happen. 

So bad is... that's broke my mood once again. Early morning, using the "great" voice shout on my name... assign me for something else. I dislike this feeling. I feel uneasy. I'm not your servant. I didn't did something wrong, OMG... when the shouting voice comes to me, I just "hang" for a second but I not really know what that "shouting" for. That's meaningless for me. 

God, How I need to tolerate? I fed up for a moment, even Jason also feel I'm not in mood. Obviously... I really cares about. If a patient's family shouting at me, for nonsense or that's person talk bad about me or shouting at me, I don't care. I still can understand and love them. But.... XX I cares..................

I don't really know how to improve to make myself more favorable. I feel hard to survive when I think about it. God, if without you holding on me, I sure can't imagine what I will did when I face it.  God, I know u want me to learn to pray for that. I will... beside praying , I really can't do anything much. I just avoid conflict happen, that's it. I know God you want use to unit in your name and love one and other. Because of You, I choose to love, not hate. 

God, please let me be more adorable and know how to be a faithful person. I don't wish to makes people around me especially my family in hard time because of that. Thank You Lord. 

God, I ask for your forgiveness and your mercy in me, So that I could forgive those who hurt me unconsciously. Thank You Lord.

22012013

Finally got time to post something back here.
God is good all the time, I could give up all my worries to him.
Today early morning, I discuss with my boss, I hope she could release us for the degree study. But the answer still pending, I had spoken to her quite sometime, she can just release me, but how could my bff? I wish I could study with her.
When driving back from work place, I feel holy spirit is talking with me, sudden I think what's pastor told us before. When we start to plan for ourself, it mean our God is dead, so we need to plan by our own. But now what I trust? My God is alive, he can help me settle it no matter how's the possibility.
I sms my bff and told her to pray together. We trust God will lead us. Amen.
My voice, God I wants it back. Today when play the worsjip song with my little guitar, I wish I could sing, but I can't. This feeling is killing me. But the other hand, I thanks God that I born with a nice voice so that I could sing and worship him.
Some people not even can speak or sing, God bless me with this gift, so I could use my voice to worship him and preach his word to the unbeliever.
I wish I could make that. I know God will be my provider always. As long as I'm willing, God will with me. In Jesus name, I pray for revival in Angel and working adult again. We can't stand still anymore. I must move out and work for it. God please lead me.