I'm really disappointed with those arrangement happened in my church Praise and Worship Ministry.
Firstly, changes done without notice, that really freak me out. Ok... Fine, that's over... I thought it could be a full stop. Again, today I get a text from my church full time sister about I will be the song leader in this coming sat youth service. It was a exchange basis from last week. Why I didn't get this information again... Again need to wait until Wednesday only it would be done. Ok.... Better than last week is on FRIDAY. EARLIER 2 days. Father, I really hate kinda last minutes notice. That's ministry... Not a job, not an entertainment, that's for you. How could we do this to you? I'm really happy to have another chance to serve you! But two days before I had promised to replace a sister to be the keyboardist. I had a bad cough too. Lord, although that's not a problem for me to serve even you tell me few hours before. The problem is... Why can't be noticed earlier which you guys can make it noticeable last Sat. I'm not unreachable or someone which you need to travel far to get me. Just s what's app text, I'm happy with it. You guys can't even spend a text to reply my message? Ok fine, you guys are most busiest! I'm the free man among... God, I'm the most stingy person, I can't take it honestly. I really Angry...
God, help me to forgive and forget... The thing which make me pissed off is when I call my
P&W leader, he still don't take it seriously. Gosh, I'm not the leader, I should sit back and relax and be the irresponsible woman ever. Why I'm worry, Why I'm Angry, Why I'm care so much, Why I take it so serious? WHY..WHY ...WHY....
I keep tearing while praying in tongue... Great disappointment I ever felt. Great disappointment come from high expectation. I shouldn't expect, Lord. My bad, I should rest in you more, not keep doing it. When I feel what I have done without appreciation, I will have disappointment and I forgortten which my serving is not to please anyone. That's only for you, Lord. Father, you don't wish I'm angry and sad like I'm having right now.
Keep me stay focus on what you have call me to do, the rest... I don't care anymore. I try to serve my best, you take care the rest... Don't wish to have disappointment again in this ministry. Make sure, I'm doing it right for you. I shouldn't judge and complain. I'm sorry Lord. Thank you for reminding me. Please grant me more of your love and strength to follow you. I need to renew my strength by filled with your Spirit everyday.
Keep me FOCUS. Thanks you Father. I really love you. 😘
Your beloved daughter,
Joyce
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