09102013

I really don't know why I could sleep such a long hours....

When awake it has been nearly 1pm... Omg... My assignment, my movie... Many thing waiting me to be done. Although this week I got plenty off day, but my pending stuff still can't be clear off. What happen to me? Omg. 

Last night when I going to gym, I reflect back the time I have been to the gym at gold master. The only motivation for me to go for gym is because of him.... His courage, his criticize...both positive and negative manner has been motivated me. 

I think I could miss the motivation for a long time. It just my past history... In my personal history, he existed. For now, no longer... I should move forward, thinking about to have some other motivation from others to continue my healthy life. For the while, I love gym, but I do not have enough time for me to spend on this. 

While watching this movie "被偷走的五年” I really feel sweet and lovely. if I could have someone real in my life I could spend with and I hope I can really really love him and sacrifice... Hmm... Can I make it? That's still a curious question in my hearts. XD 

Before I left home while going to the prayer meeting, I introduce this movie to my mom. She watch it and saying thumbs up for this movie. Wow... So great.

Today is the first day I back to the prayer meeting when I start on my degree studies... Although my written assignment still haven't finished, but I think I should be having enough time to finish it up on time. Praise Lord. 

In the prayer meeting, there is another preacher. He is our bro. Jing Ming. He share about the works of the Holy Spirit. The power of the Holy Spirit we shouldn't ignore or reject as it's a need in the spiritual growth in Christianity. 

This is the first prayer meeting that the Holy Spirit fill me with joy and in the moment I just wish to sing praise and worship my God. That's simple. He also mention that many of the Christian do come across a period that their spiritual life was upside down. But the only thing we can back to a healthy spiritual life is we pray, we worship and we ask the presence of the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with love, joy, peace and give us strength to overcome this situation. 

God, I thankful for everything that I have. As what I need, you had planned and prepareded for me. 

07102013

Last night whole night watching the movie "good doctor". Such a good movie that I can't even hold my tears until I should pause the movie and do some adjustment. The verse, the story line was impressed me. 

Although this movie was also having some scene that is involve the love story, but the love story scene also was my favorite part on it and I'm reflecting on what I have done. 

Sometimes I do feel that I was not as passion compare to the first six months I as a nursing aids. My patient = my friend??? One of my dream was a good and helpful nurse, but I have lost my passion to do so. Is that due to my busy working hours? My knowledge has changed my thinking? God, I found that I have lost... I'm not passion that I should be. I can be better for what I believe. 

In this movie, I think I really admire the main character, the doctor with infantile autism. He don't have the common sense, but he have a good and loving hearts that can treat all people equally good and love them as what God ask to do so. 

When I looking at the Facebook comment in the secret group, I really feel sad when I know one of my particular colleague has been boycott by the others. What can I do? I can sense the hurts feeling when I know that someone is boycotting me and I relate it to the movie of the autism doctor. He know that everyone is boycott him and he still treating them very well. Even in the end, some of them has change the perception because he can forgive and still love the other even he know that they dislike him as he is not smart enough and always bring trouble to them. 

I really thanks God that I'm not the stupid autism doctor as the movie, but I do hope I can learn from him as well that I could have more kind heart to love the people around me. 

I know what's my problem... I'm not keep my dream and try my very best to love. I'm very easily to give up and influence by the others. What I'm doing? Earning the favor of God? Or the people? 

I should know what's my very great purpose of God sending me here in this world.

I should praising God, worhispping him, pray for the others, love the others, share the love of God to the people who still don't have the chance to know about Jesus. So What's this days I'm doing? Keep hanging around without doing what's my "boss" asking me to do? My boss, what's the next task I should be complete? 

I'm really lost........... 

Another sad thing is the one I intro her about Jesus and pray with her has leaving God and pray to another God. Those day she need support, where am I? God, what I suppose to do? Many question mark in me.... I know you will slowly answer my question. Thanks God. 

03102013

Such a wonderful day for me to rest and do whatever I want. 

Funny thing is I still going to play badminton even I had bad experience after badminton. ~ whole body ache like hell....

My dad is following me... Omg, I know that he doesn't like to play badminton with traveling so far away some more he prefer to play with his "gang" of badminton lover. 

I'm wondering the reason he is following me to go play with the church member. My mum told me that he is worry about me. He told mum that the place that I play badminton is dark and dangerous so he was worried and hope can protected me. My mum told him that he shouldn't worries too much as I'm growing up and I can take care of myself. He say he understand, but before I have a boy friend to pick me up or have friends that could go with me together, he can't just leave me to go by myself as he still worried about me. Omg... I'm kidding with my mum by saying that I should get a boy friend simply in order to make my dad relieved. My mother laugh out loud and I continue to tell her that if I'm not going to get a boy friend soon than I should not be staying in Malaysia so that my dad can't tracking on me. Lolz....

After few sets of badminton match, I sit aside to have a rest. Shin loon told me that my dad had told him that to escort me to my car when I want to go back as he is planning not to come for the next time. Omg... He is so funny as asking me to do a rehearsal for today as my dad as told him. Lolz... Are they kidding me? I can protect myself and be independent okay.... I no need some kind of protection, I just need God, that's it. 

God, I pray that I can get a right "man" sooner as I wish my dad could be more relieve and stop worries about me. XD but another hand, I wish I can go on my dream without any barrier... Sound contradiction right? I also don't know what I am wishing actually. ;)

29092013

Thanks God who restore me back to the purpose of living as create and planned by God.

When singing this song, pastor suddenly ask us to pray in two by two, I'm keyboard list for today. Although I can't join in prayers, but thanks God Chester come for me and pray for me. While he praying for me, I tears by filling of the Holy Spirit in me, comforting me and I know that once again God calling upon me. Thanks God for not forsaken me as I'm nearly lost myself with the busy life.

For the medical check, thanks God, everything running smooth as what we usually did. I do feel that I need to pray for those of them who having medical problem. I'm running with this ministry, I should able to do it well right? God, please hold me tight and let me serve you with all I have. Amen.

After service, Jia Wei, Nicole and I go for our lunch together at Stone Age. Initially I do feel to call ping ping and Keantatt to go together as we plan to have lunch together. So bad, all had their activities. 

We still enjoy our meal so well, praise Lord. 

Stone Age @bukit mertajam. 

Yummy.... 

The first time I try the Tom yam mee... Very hot and spicy, wow.... 

I slept over few hours, omg my parent thought I'm not around as I'm sleeping in my room. XD 

26092013

Since morning I had waked up, first thing as usual I will be praying and have read the bible devotional through phone apps. I'm lying on my bed thinking that when I start on my day with all assignment awaiting on my to do list. I'm damn lazy... Damn...

After lunch with my dad, I success persuade him to accompany me to play badminton with church member. Great... I no need to travel so far alone, although usually I can do so it when there was a urge for me to do so. Actually my dad worried about me that's why he choose to go so far playing badminton with me. 

For me, although I'm thinking so far as well, but I really miss the time spending with them. I do not know is that I having another chance to spend time with them anymore, but just try my best do whatever I can. 

The first time I step in the badminton court. That's the new court in Butterworth. 

When saw him teaching Esther badminton, I refresh back some memory I had with him, but the feeling is not same anymore. I know there is impossible to back to the relationship like once upon the time, but the good thing is I still can talk with him. Although our conversation is just 2 seconds, but I do appreciate and I know I owe him and hers family a lot, I can't pay off with money. I just hope and pray that he can have a ladies better in future that could make him really happy and don't make him in trouble anymore. 

Anyways, my small dream can't get on as I'm been waiting to have a match with him, but last... I can't do so and I think I won't wish to do it anymore. 

I think our relationship will be the best if staying on friendship, it last forever. I think I can live without him well and could get my white prince in future than. God please bless and lead me than. I really wish could have a man can have the character that shown in the movie 冲上云霄2 Sam Tong. Haha.... 

Hey joyce, please wake up. There will not be a same man just like the movie and a sweet romantic scene in life, but I do trust God will start writing my love story soon. ;)

Best Friend - Jason Chen (Official Music Video)

Early morning my hearts really goes off. When listening to the worship song, I found my hearts is far from worshiping. When reading the words of god, I know I need to be humble and back to the hearts of worship again. God, I need you. Amen.

Today also such a busy day. Thanks God, all thing run smooth as well. After works, my parent had prepare my favor dinner. I love it... In the mean while, I'm enjoying the video I had download last night. By Jason Chen. The song name "best friend". Lyric including falling in love with my best friend. 

Somebody to love - Justin Bieber & Usher (cover) Megan Lee & Jason Chen

24092013

Omg... What a day. Last night received a call from hospital that I need to go replace my colleague to do night duty. I really dislike unplanned thing happened. But, since it happened, I just can obey it and I found my boss really bag me to work for tonight, so no choice I can't reject it anymore. God, thanks you that be with me and I know God you may lead as long as you are with me always. :) will be a better night compare to what I think. 

First thing I wake up is to plan for jogging.... 

Thanks God I had success in achieving my goals that I set for today. But in the end, I eat more than I lose.. Omg...

When I jogging, that's the time I could have fresh mind to think, to focus, to enjoy my life. When I look up on the sky, I see the cloud, the blue sky... Thinking that when I could have differ view of the sky. If I'm in Paris, Australia, New Zealand? What can I see? Is that the same? 

After dinner, sudden think to have a shot. Beer time with my daddy. Cheers...

After beer, I had struggle for so long to restart my mind for studying. God, I really not in mood for studying. How come? God, please let me focus, can? I beg you.... 

Finally I got answer three question for my assignment, but there still have three more. What can I do? Moodless hahahaha...

Listen to music, switching from Facebook to YouTube. I found I nice song by Jason Chen. Just a dream. Although the lyric is mainly from a boy telling about a girl, but when switch it, it can be just nice to my feeling. 

Another song with great feeling that is "somebody to love" by Jason chan and Megan Lee. Lyric is the best describe my feeling. 

I'm enjoying music .... I think one of the thing I love to travel is to gain different feeling instead of doing the same thing here. I'm bored with the life here honestly.... God, please refresh my life.... 

相信擁抱 Embrace - 約書亞.

  
 Early morning when I wake up from bed, I started to pray and sing praise. When I listened this song, my tears drops and feel loved. I know that God asked me to move on. Why I still keep holding on the past? Should I leave here only I can move on?
Last night while sharing my dreams with my bff- Wendy Tan, I shared that I wish to go working travel in New Zealand. I want to try out something new. I need a break to really think and pray. As for now, I really don't know what I want. God, I know he has something right and good for me, but just I'm not having a "confirm" letter from him.
Ecclesiastes 3:11~ he has made everything beautiful in its time.
I trust God will made my life beautiful as this promises. Praise him always.

22092013

Today I'm joining the Ethel garden nursing conference. Wow... First time I join a conference with a prayer before the conference. Is special to me...

Hope today I'm not sleepy as last night I'm just able to sleep around 2 hours. I really love the movie so well.... ~"Sam Tong, I love you so much..." Love the way you are.... 

Firstly, I love this movie because of I love the character of the actor. A man with mature, steady and serious in relationship is the main thing I admire and attractive to me. 

Just like the character of Holiday, I'm really miss the character. I think I had changed a lot since young. 

Don't know since when I started to learn to be more honorable. Maybe the last time he told me that he like those ladies that could look mature, but I'm the one that is out going, active and confidence. I able to talk to anyone that I don't know very well. I will be the one initiative to talk to other. But since secondary school, I had changed a lot. Getting older, I'm getting less self confidence and passive. I can't really talk to someone older that me, especially guy, naturally as I'm very care that how people looking at me. I hate that I'm having such changes. 

After this movie, it impressed me as I find back myself. I don't care how people looked at me, i just Do whatever I think is right and like it. Just made myself, no need to purposely change my character to gain the favor of others. I'm special creation of God. I just wanna be myself. That's it. I'm talkative, active, out going...  Careless... That's my special sign that God given to me. Is unique.... Hahahaha.... Love myself so well.... I'm previous.. Praise God.

You know what's that? My body composition analyzer. The desirable range of the fat mass = 17-24% but I'm getting 31%. Omg....I'm fat.... Totally fat.... Can't accept that. How come? 

So from the day onwards my aim would be keep fat away...

The conference too bored... Really regret. I'm thinking to go church better than staying here and gain nothing. 

Busy life make my life bored. What can I do? I want slim down, I want polish my English, I want learn to cook, I want travel, my aims is working and traveling out station. Really hope I could have chance enjoy  different life out station. I want meet different people, I want to wider my social network as to learn from them.