24012013

Last night actually I started to worry about the event today. Worry about how the people asking me regarding why it's happen I need to be separately with him. If someone ask me this question, I really hard to answer that. 

This morning, while driving, I started to refresh back again. Tears from my eyes. That's the 1st sad feeling on 2013. I hope it won't happen again to me. I thought that I had use to this feeling. But, I still care for. I really care it no matter how long the incidence happen. 

So bad is... that's broke my mood once again. Early morning, using the "great" voice shout on my name... assign me for something else. I dislike this feeling. I feel uneasy. I'm not your servant. I didn't did something wrong, OMG... when the shouting voice comes to me, I just "hang" for a second but I not really know what that "shouting" for. That's meaningless for me. 

God, How I need to tolerate? I fed up for a moment, even Jason also feel I'm not in mood. Obviously... I really cares about. If a patient's family shouting at me, for nonsense or that's person talk bad about me or shouting at me, I don't care. I still can understand and love them. But.... XX I cares..................

I don't really know how to improve to make myself more favorable. I feel hard to survive when I think about it. God, if without you holding on me, I sure can't imagine what I will did when I face it.  God, I know u want me to learn to pray for that. I will... beside praying , I really can't do anything much. I just avoid conflict happen, that's it. I know God you want use to unit in your name and love one and other. Because of You, I choose to love, not hate. 

God, please let me be more adorable and know how to be a faithful person. I don't wish to makes people around me especially my family in hard time because of that. Thank You Lord. 

God, I ask for your forgiveness and your mercy in me, So that I could forgive those who hurt me unconsciously. Thank You Lord.