It’s time for me to have a new starting life. I get to leave “him” as what God plan to do it as I wish. I prayed for that, I deserve the best. Someone I need to leave and more focus on God not “him” anymore. I’m not supposed to place “him” before God that I usually did. I’m wrong totally. As long as I had made up my mind, I can try my best to still care about “him” as a brother I love and care about. I won’t give up on “him” as I still wish that “he” can be my good brother as the relationship had changed to a stranger for now. I’m sad with that, but I think “he” will feel the same. I know that “he” is trying his best to not hurt me and yet “he” still don’t know how and what to talk with me recently. I will give myself and “him” to fix it up the relationship, I think I will use to it soon. Thanks God for loving me and yet sent me few Great Angel to guide me, polish me, love me and with me when I’m upset for that for a period. That’s what I need when in recovery period. I need a hugs, a smile and a silent partner with me while I’m still figure out what’s wrong with my life, but yet God is the one fulfill me all the needs. Thanks God, I understand what he want me to learn, to be and move on. I’m not going to stay still all the time; my life is going to move on to the next level as my spiritual life too. I need to grow, but when someone not allows me to move on, I just need to leave “him” and move on still.
“He” will be my BFF “ best friend forever” and I will never GIVE UP on “him”. I do “love” him so much, yet I can’t manage to “love” him as my “love” will bring him “trouble”. All I can do is wish “him” all the best and wish my future to have a better “HIM” waiting for me.
God, u makes me grow and know what’s true love is ~ sacrificed. Although he will hate me and dislike me that I still keep contact with “him” so troublesome to him, but really hope that he can really understand me and know me as we meet in the heaven. God please don’t forsaken “him” and his best friend XL. When I read the verse in revelation 3:16 ~ so, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will vomit you out of my mouth. I really scare someday when they still in lukewarm situation, God really will vomit them of his mouth. I pray that “this day” will not happen in him and his best friend. Hope they will get to know God more and serve him with all his heart and soul~~~that’s hot enough… not lukewarm.
God at last I hope I can have strong heart enough to leave him and learn to be independent to do all my stuff without looking backward. I will miss what “he” has done to me all the while in this few years, I really appreciated and happy, that’s true. I really not use to it when I feel that’s differ way “he” treating me as I’m like a stranger, although is hurting me each and everytime, but God please help me to overcome. That’s the hardest part I face, but yet God u walk with me, I’m not alone as u are with me. Thank you Jesus. Sent some Angels for me when that’s period, I need someone to replace what “he” has done. I know u had replaced him and I try to learn to pick up quickly so that the hurting part can be lesser each and every day. Hope my next blogging will tells about how much I love God more than how “he” hurts me. That’s end up my 2011 life. That’s new starts and new life and dream. I will dream for God always… Love you Jesus.
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